


The Stupid, No-Good Feelings

by PixieSphere



Category: Wander Over Yonder (Cartoon)
Genre: Deathglare, M/M, savewoy, woy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 04:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14709495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixieSphere/pseuds/PixieSphere
Summary: When Hater finds out that Peepers might have a crush on him, he starts to wonder about their relationship.





	The Stupid, No-Good Feelings

It had been years since Lord Hater last visited the planet where he had found his army of watchdogs. For a long awhile, he was convinced any visits there would just be a waste of time. The Skullship had all the food that the Watchdogs could want, a very capable infirmary with skilled doctors, and a place for his soldiers to sleep. 

However, his commander and close friend Peepers, had explained that his ship could use new recruitments while allowing the older soldiers—who are no longer meeting their standards—to retire. It would also serve as a chance for the watchdogs to visit their wives and children, and hopefully bring them more motivation to do better in their work for the Hater Empire.

“Once we’re done here, there’s a planet just a few coordinates away that has your name all over it, sir!” Peepers said enthusiastically, clasping his hands together.

“Then we better hurry this up.” Hater grumbled, holding a remote with a single button. Him and Peepers stood in front of a large door, a huge crowd of chatting watchdogs behind them. Just on the other side, their families waited to see them. His long, gloved finger pressed down on the button, opening the door. A huge mass of watchdogs from the inside ran out. 

Fortunately, Hater and Peepers stepped aside just in time to avoid being trampled.  
The two slowly stepped back to the large doorway and looked out. Watchdogs ran to their wives and girlfriends, sharing hugs and kisses. To almost anyone this reunion would be a beautiful sight, but certainly not to Hater.

“Ugh, gross! When do we get to meet the new recruits!?” Hater huffed impatiently.

“Shouldn’t be too much longer, sir.” The commander responded, carefully resting his hands behind his back. He watched his army reunite with an unamused stare. To him, this was just business.

Hater stood with his arms crossed, looking over the vast amount of watchdogs before him. He could practically feel their joy in the air, like a sickening poison. His entire army seemed to have a lady waiting for each of them. His eyes glanced over to his commander, who stood straight as he also watched the disgusting display. 

“Aren’t you gonna get all mushy-wushy with your girlfriend, too?” Hater gagged.

Peepers turned to Hater, confusion in his eye. “What?”

“You may not have talked about her much, but I know you must have one. That’s why you never seem interested in the pretty girls we meet on different planets. Duh.” Hater was proud of himself for coming to this conclusion. He was waiting for Peepers to be impressed with his detective skills. 

Instead, Peepers shifted his feet and returned his gaze back to the crowd. His posture had shrunk, and his hands fidgeted behind his back. 

“Sir, I’m gay.”

Hater’s eyes widened and he gasped loudly, turning his body completely to face his commander.

“Since when!?”

Peepers looked back at him, genuinely surprised at the reaction he had gotten. “You really never realized?”

“Uhhh...” Lord Hater didn’t know how to respond. He coughed and turned back to the crowd, scratching the back of his neck. This was awkward.

“So.. Guys, then.” Hater swung his arms, avoiding looking in the direction of his commander.

“Yes, sir.” Peepers responded flatly.

“Oh. So.. That’s why you never liked girls we’ve met.”

“Obviously, sir.” 

“Uhh...” Hater’s fingers fidgeted as he continued to process this information. It felt like there was a sudden pressure for conversation, which did nothing but increase the awkwardness of the silence that followed. Finally, he spoke. A genuine curiosity had been sparked within his bones.

“I’m a guy. You’re a guy who likes guys. So...”

Peepers quickly turned to Hater, his voice suddenly defensive. “It’s not like I like every guy in the flarpin’ galaxy! That’s not how it works!”

Hater quickly nodded his head, despite not understanding what Peepers had said. So his commander didn’t like him? Why not? Did he want him to? Why? 

He began to think of all the time they’ve spent together and how much of it could be perceived in another way. Has he ever accidentally went on a gay date? What is a gay date? Hater wasn’t gay. But could he accidentally become gay if he accidentally did a gay date? It was all too confusing for Hater. He wanted to ask Peepers more questions, but found it hard to talk. Instead, he awkwardly stood there, fidgeting his fingers. He certainly had no problem with guys not interested in ladies, but it was still a new concept to him.

Peepers was just as silent. Hater couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or annoyed, or maybe even both. However, he could tell that Peepers was avoiding eye contact.

The two stood in silence until the reunion was over, and the watchdogs (including some new recruits) had began to aboard the ship. Hater and Peepers had shook each of their hands as they walked in, but Hater found he couldn’t keep his eyes off his commander. He wanted to see how he reacted shaking different guys’ hands, wondering if Peepers was attracted to any of the watchdogs that passed. 

It was hard to say. Hater thought gay Peepers acted just like he did before, when he thought he was just Peepers. It was so confusing. What was even more confusing was Hater’s stomach, which was a twisting mess of emotions. He wasn’t quite sure what any of this meant. 

After the last of the watchdogs entered the ship, Peepers turned to Hater.

“That’s the last of them, sir! Now, let’s conquer that planet!” 

Hater was taken aback at how quickly Peepers got over their previous conversation. He was able to move on like it was nothing. 

“Right.. Uhh.. The planet..” Hater said, stumbling over his words. It felt like there was a lump in his throat.

Peepers, without hesitation, grabbed Hater’s hand and led him down the hallway. While doing so, he shared the plan he had set for conquering. Everything was straight and to the point.

Hater’s head caught absolutely none of it. His face flushed and his bones rattled. His emotions were too confusing, and he blamed it on Peepers for being confusing. 

“Sir?” Peepers looked up and sighed, recognizing the all-too familiar look of distant thoughts on his boss’s face. He didn’t hear a single word. “Sir!”

“WHAT!?” Hater snapped.

“YOU HAVE TO CONQUER THIS PLANET!”

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Hater pushed Peepers to the side as he stormed off to his room. 

His commander groaned in frustration. They were already off schedule, but confronting his boss during his little tantrum would only make him more reluctant. Peepers decided to go make better use of his time and check on the new recruits.

Meanwhile, Hater was pacing in his room. The confrontation he had with Peepers was just like any other, so why did he feel so different? He hated it.

“Captain Tim!” Hater called out sweetly. His Arachnomorph always helped him feel better. The vicious alien creature ran towards him, spewing green acid from its mouth as it snarled.

“There you are, you little rascal!” Hater laughed as his pet began to gnaw on his arm.

“Peepers told me something, Tim. Did you know he was in to dudes? Not the ladies?”

Captain Tim immediately stopped gnawing and looked up at Hater, his lips pressing together. It was as if he was saying “You seriously haven’t picked up on that?”. Fortunately, Hater was bad at picking up signals based on body language.

“I KNOW! It shocked me too, Tim! To think you know a guy.” Hater scoffed.

Captain Tim rolled his body and shook, which was the Arachnomorph way of eye-rolling.

“It feels weird, Tim. I feel weird. Why hasn’t he ever had a crush on me? If he likes guys, wouldn’t he like the best guy there is?”

The spider-like alien facepalmed with its front leg.

Hater fell backwards on to his bed, letting go of his pet. Captain Tim scurried away, once again spewing acid on the floor. He let out a loud groan as he turned himself over.

“Stupid, no-good feelings.” He muttered in to his pillow. “Being confusing and junk.”

•••

The weeks that followed were... Awkward. Hater had started feeling weird around Peepers. His face would get hot, his stomach would churn, and his bones would shake. It was a feeling similar to hate in some ways, but entirely different at the same time. 

The confused feelings frustrated Hater, so he did his best to avoid confronting them. This meant trying to spend as little time with Peepers as possible. It wasn’t easy, as the two would normally spend most of their days together.

Hater had begun waking up earlier than Peepers in order to make sure he could eat breakfast alone. He no longer would attend meetings for planning, and would actively ignore Peepers in the hallway. Naturally, the Hater Empire began to quickly fall behind on the Villain Leaderboard, but that was actually the last thing on Hater’s mind.

Avoiding Peepers had helped subside the odd feelings Hater had, just as he wanted. However, it led to a sadness that was possibly even worse. Many sleepless nights were the unfortunate result.

This whole thing was equally painful for Peepers. So much so, he turned to someone for help. Someone he despised, but knew how to usually handle these problems nonetheless. 

“So Hater just started ignoring you? But you’re best friends!” Wander’s voice was full of disbelief. 

“Not any more.” Peepers avoided eye contact with Wander. He hated that it came to him needing his help.

Sylvia patted Peepers on the back. “Oh, please. Hater needs you. Once he remembers that you’ll make up and you two will go back to being pathetic villains who always lose.”

Peepers rolled his eye and took a sip of the juice in front of him. Fortunately the diner Peepers asked them to meet him at wasn’t well-known. The last thing he needed was being seen taking advice from the annoying orange fur ball.

“Did something happen? Did you get in to a fight!? Did you lose his favorite mug!? Did you forget to pay the electric bill so he missed the series finale of his favorite show!?” Wander was presenting each guess with an overly-dramatic tone.

It took all of Peepers’ willpower to not give in to his annoyance. There were more important matters to deal with than Wander’s ridiculousness, and however satisfying it would be to slap him in the face, it wouldn’t solve the issue at hand.

“I simply told him that... Well, that I don’t like girls.” Peepers shrugged his shoulders in attempt to seem nonchalant, but the sadness in his voice was clear. “He’s been avoiding me ever since.”

Wander’s face exploded in to a smile.  
“YOU’RE GAY!? Well I’ll be!! I would have never had guessed!”

Sylvia crossed her arms and looked at Wander with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously? Never?”

“Can we focus on the issue at hand, here?” Peepers’ patience was running low.

Wander frowned as he scratched his chin. “Hater didn’t seem the type to have problems with that kind of thing.”

“Maybe it’s just new for him and he’s processing it.” Sylvia shrugged. “When I first told my Ma she did the same thing for a few days. The best thing you can do is talk to him.”

Peepers felt a heavy sadness swelling in his chest. He wasn’t about to cry in front of his enemies, though.

“He won’t even be in the same room I’m in for three seconds. How am I supposed to discuss these matters with him if I hardly even see him?”

“Do what you do best, C. Peeps! Think of a plan!” Wander winked with a smile.

Peepers looked up at Wander’s annoying face.

“That’s it!”

•••

Wander skipped in to Lord Hater’s room, arms swinging at his sides. Sylvia followed close behind. Once they reached the bed of the resting skeleton, Wander slipped off his hat and began digging inside.

“Aha!” Wander whispered triumphantly as he pulled out his banjo. Sylvia smiled and scooped her friend on to her back. 

“Ready, buddy?”

He nodded and held the banjo in position. With a deep breath, he strummed a chord and began to sing as loud as he could.

“WHEN YOU—“

“RAAAAAAAAHH!!”

Lord Hater roared as he leaped up, his body thrashing wildly in an attempt to free itself from the blanket covering him. In a matter of seconds he was free, anger burning in his eyes.

“WANDER!!”

“Howdy!” Wander tipped his hat as Sylvia laughed and ran away with him. 

“GET BACK HERE!!” 

The chase had begun. Hater tried to zap lightning from his hands but failed miserably to make contact. Sylvia was an expert at dodging them after countless chases.

All the exhaustion and confusing feelings were gone. They were replaced with pure unbridled rage sparking within his bones. The rude awakening had cleared his head and set his mind on only one thing: Destroying Wander.

The two nuisances reared around a corner. Wander’s annoying laugh only brought Hater greater frustration. He continued running after them, his aim getting even sloppier with his lightning. 

When Hater slid around the corner, Wander and Sylvia disappeared in to a doorway further down the hall. Hater gave another bellowed roar, his fingers sparking as he continued the chase.

Upon entering the room, he skidded to a halt and once again looked around. His hands were glowing and ready to fire. However, Wander and Sylvia were nowhere to be found. Instead, he saw his Commander.

“But Wander...” Hater’s hands stopped sparking. There was only one door in this room, so there was no way the orange menace could have...

“Bye, Hatey!” 

Hater quickly turned around. There, Wander and Sylvia stood on the other side of the doorway. 

“HOW DID..!?”

The door slid down from the ceiling. He could hear their laughter slowly fading away. Hater slammed his fist against the door, attempting to blast it open.

“Peepers, Wander is running around my ship and this door is broken!”

Peepers, who had been silently watching the events of his plan unfold, suddenly felt nervous. He stood there silently for several moments before taking a seat at the table in the center of the room.

“Not to worry, sir. I made sure the watchdogs were aware of the situation.”

The rage Hater felt slowly began to dwindle. The horrible feeling he had been trying to avoid began to settle in his stomach. He coughed.

“Sir, I believe we may have some... Discussing to do.”

Hater gulped and walked over to the table, taking a seat at the other end. He tried to play it cool and avoided making eye contact.

“Absolutely! Wander—“

“No, sir. About that conversation we had when we visited the home planet for the watchdogs.”

Hater felt sick and his bones seemed to get uncomfortably warm. He adjusted the way he was sitting a few times while he thought of a response.

“Oh yes.. That conversation. I see. Absolutely.” He cleared his throat. “What about it?”

“You’ve been.. Avoiding me ever since we had it. The Hater Empire has been very unproductive.” Peepers had failed at trying to mask the sadness in his voice, but Hater didn’t catch it.

“So... It’s just about conquering more planets and stuff.” Hater traced the table with his finger, still not looking up.

“I also miss my friend.” Peepers felt his voice shake. His chest felt tight and he tapped his fingers together.

“Oh.” Hater’s finger froze. He tried to subtlety look over at Peepers, who had moved his eye to the floor. “Me too.”

Peepers finally looked up. They stared at each other in silence for several moments, both unsure of what to say.

“If you miss me, why have you been avoiding me?”

Hater shrugged and continued tracing his finger on the table. He didn’t even know the answer himself.

“I don’t know. I’ve been feeling weird I guess.” Hater grumbled out almost inaudibly.

Peepers felt frustrated. Hater had been his best friend for years, and now he was ready to let one tiny detail get in the way of that.

“Why does it bother you so much? What difference does it make? I’m still the same Commander! Why are you letting this one thing get between us!?”

Hater was stricken with a feeling of guilt when he realized his friend’s eye had started to water. He didn’t know how to make things better. 

“C. Peeps...” Hater held his hands together to stop himself from tracing the table. “It isn’t that you like... You know.”

Peepers wiped his eye and looked over at his boss. A touch of anger and sadness hung on his voice. “Then what is it?”

“It’s just... All this time I’ve never really given that kind of stuff much thought. It never really... You know, popped in my mind. It’s always been, you know, the ladies.”

Peepers’ eye showed a confused look. Hater felt frustrated that he couldn’t get the correct words out, but he continued regardless.

“What I mean is, we’ve always been so close and I never even thought that maybe we... You know, would ever... You know.” Hater shrugged, hoping Peepers would catch his drift. 

However, the confused look was still present in his eye.

“THIS IS SO HARD!!” Hater slammed his fists on the table, taking Peepers by surprise. “I just never thought of us being more than friends until that! Ever since I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what that would be like!”

Peepers was at a loss for words. He felt flustered. Hater had been thinking about that? That was unexpected.

“Oh.” He wasn’t quite sure how to respond. He felt himself blushing and cursed himself. 

“So yeah, whatever. Thanks for making me question everything about myself, Peepers.” Hater grumbled and rolled his eyes, a faint green blush glowing on his cheek bones.

“I honestly wouldn’t have thought that you’d question that stuff... Especially over me.” Peepers was still having a hard time believing it. 

Hater suddenly sat up, curiosity pricking his eyebrow bone. “Have you ever uhh... Liked me like that?”

Peepers froze. He didn’t expect Hater to be so direct about it. It was like he forgot how to speak.

Hater’s eyes rolled around the room, tapping his fingers together. It was clear he was eager for an answer, but wasn’t going to rush Peepers for it.

“I... I don’t see how I couldn’t start falling for you, sir.” Peepers choked out awkwardly. It was the best way to put it.

Hater scratched his chin in silence, thinking. Peepers felt like he was going to throw up.

“Well then...” Hater spoke uncharacteristically soft. Peepers realized that the green glow on his cheeks was growing tremendously.

“Uhhh... Want to... Go uhh...” Hater stumbled on his words, glancing around the room. Peepers blushed more, but his eye smiled as he realized what was happening.

“How about we go out for dinner?” Peepers tried to said confident, but his voice once again quivered. 

“Yeah!” Hater’s voice cracked, but he quickly coughed and tried to regain his composure. “Uh, yeah. That sounds cool.”

Peepers felt a happiness in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It felt as though this was a dream, but grop, he didn’t want to wake up.

Hater sat up, sweat beading on his skull and green blush taking over his face. “So uhh... I’ll see you uhh... Yeah.” Hater winked while pointing finger guns at Peepers, but when he turned to leave he crashed in to the wall.

Peepers chuckled lightly and sighed happily to himself. He loved that idiot, and it felt good to finally admit that to himself.


End file.
